TONOGAI, Martha Ellen (née White)

June 15, 1929 — December 15, 2024

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of Martha (Marty) Ellen Tonogai (née White) a devoted wife, mother, sister, mother-in-law, grandmother, and friend on December 15th, 2024, at the age of 95. She passed away at Central Okanagan Hospice House surrounded by her kids.

Martha is survived by her 3 children, Bob (Joni) Tonogai of Coquitlam, BC, Rick (Linda Crewe) Tonogai of Victoria, BC, and Sandy Tahara of Kelowna, BC; 9 grandchildren Brayden (Terah), Ryan (Liz) and Lindsay Tonogai; Brigitte and Valerie Dionne, Violet Hayward; and Jordan, Ashley and Trevor Tahara; 2 sisters, Ruth Whittaker and Nancy Savoy, both of New Brunswick; and many other relatives across Canada.

Marty was sadly predeceased by her husband Sam; daughter-in-law Marie-France Colombey; son-in-law Tim Tahara; and brothers-in-law Alan Whittaker and Richard Savoy.

Mom was born June 15, 1929, in Lower Millstream, NB to Bob and Hattie White. Although she grew up on a farm, her dad did not want to make farmers out of his 3 girls. They did have to help, but Mom always said she went to bed wishing for frost so she wouldn’t have to pick small cucumbers after school for the gherkin factory. She also picked strawberries for pennies a basket at a neighbouring farm, which she found more enjoyable. Given her love of berries, she probably ate more than went into the baskets. She often said she ate wild berries until she got a stomach ache, then stuffed even more of them into her pockets.

Mom’s desire for a career in the military began with the desire to find her cousin, a POW in WWII. Although too young at the time, she did join the Royal Canadian Air Force in 1951. She met our Dad in 1954 when both were stationed at 2(F) Wing, Grostenquin, France. They married in 1955.  Mom left the Air Force in 1956 and started their family with Bob’s birth in France, then Rick and Sandy, both in Ontario. Following a transfer to 4(F) Wing, Baden-Baden, Germany in 1966, Dad was transferred back to Ottawa in 1970 where he eventually retired from the Air Force. Mom worked as a civil servant for the Department of National Defence from 1970 to 1989 when she took early retirement.  She took great offence to anyone saying civil servants didn’t work because she worked hard and rarely took a sick day.

Mom, with her military training, kept the house in order at all times.  She didn’t like anyone seeing the house dirty. Dad hired a maid for Mom, but it was a one time thing because she cleaned the house before the maid arrived!  There was always a top-to-bottom spring-cleaning that would have easily passed a military white glove inspection!  The kids always had weekly chores.  It was called “Mom works”.

In 1990, Mom and Dad retired to Vernon, BC and enjoyed golfing, curling, happy hour and dancing at the Army Navy Air Force Veteran’s Club with friends.  Mom, at 78, golfed 18 holes 4 times a week and preferred to walk than use a cart.

Mom wanted to travel, but it took some effort to get Dad interested, since he travelled a lot for work. They eventually made several trips to Hawaii. In 2005, they went to France and Germany for their 50th anniversary where they revisited all the places they had been during their military postings, both alone and with the kids.

Mom was a very proud Grandma and always loved to hear of any and all of their accomplishments.  Her favourite Christmas gift was updated school photos of the grandkids, and always knew which packages they were and always opened them last.

Mom and Dad danced their way through life together, and we are at peace knowing they are reunited and now dancing through eternity.

The family would like to thank Dr. Alexis Thomson for her years of dedication to Mom’s care and Kelowna General Hospital for all of their care. A huge thank-you goes to Belinda and her staff at TLC Home Support, who provided such wonderful care to Mom for many years, allowing her to maintain some independence by remaining in her own home and then in assisted living.  Mom loved you, and we could not have done it without you.  Mom spent her final years at Lakeshore Place, where she made many friends and called the staff her family. She was served 3 meals a day, but we only ever heard about lunch….a cup of soup, 1/4 sandwich and 2 pickles. The pickles were always emphasized with 2 raised fingers.  A huge heartfelt thank you also goes to the amazing staff at Hospice House who were extremely attentive to Mom, providing the utmost dignity and respect, making her comfortable during her last four weeks.  As well, this level of care was extended to the family, helping us navigate through this difficult time.

There will be a celebration of Mom’s life in July 2025 when the weather is more to her liking. The date and time will be announced later.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the KGH Foundation or Central Okanagan Hospice House.

Fly right, Mom, it’s the only way to fly! Forever loved. Forever missed.

If you wish to send a condolence, post photos, or share a memory, please scroll down the page to the area call “Condolences”.