We Remember
HANSEN, Carol Marie (née Baert)
May 20, 1945 — February 6, 2021
Carol Marie Hansen was born on May 20, 1945 on the fringes of a then-provincial country, in Westlock, north of Edmonton. The only girl in a Franco-Albertan family with four children, her early years were financially secure but arduous, defined by farm labour and the constraints of a convent school. A successful student, she enrolled at the University of Alberta to study pharmacology, but fragile physical and mental health led her to withdraw.
She entered young adulthood in the early 1960s, several years before second-wave feminism created possibilities for working-class women to achieve economic independence. As women of her generation were expected to, she wed and had children, but she soon chafed against marriage’s strictures. Her life was financially stable, but the match between a high-spirited, fun-loving, independent woman and a committed but sombre man was likely doomed to fail. After several separations, she left him for someone with the opposite virtues and vices. Her second husband was an ex-collector (of the bone-crushing variety) and biker turned occasional mechanic and truck driver. Together, they threw themselves into an unapologetic celebration of late 1970s working-class culture: country music and bars, CB radio, motorbikes, and stock car driving (blindfolded, no less). She went from a middle-class detached house to a trailer park, and for a few years, she loved it. But she attached her star to the North American working class just as it faced destruction. Unionized jobs vanished, and the frequent moves (her second husband was as peripatetic as her first) resulted in unemployment or at best poorly paid jobs without benefits. The early 1980s interest-rate spike devastated her finances. The family slipped into crushing poverty, her second marriage broke down, and by the end of the decade, she was alone and on social support.
It was a difficult time made worse by mental health challenges. Mental health is openly discussed today, but then was a matter of intense shame. Her mother denied her bipolar condition publicly, and the doctors responded, as they did in the 1970s, by bathing her in medication. The pills made her comatose, and she came on and off them in a manner that only exacerbated her mood swings. She finally discarded them in the early 1990s.
And then she found her way. She set up a boarding house and let rooms to people no one else would have: welfare recipients, people with mental and physical disabilities, and ex-cons. They called her ‘mama,’ moved freely between her space and theirs, and came to her for advice and friendship. It was an emotional and chaotic environment, but it made them, and her, happy. Just how happy was made clear when she was dying; her tenants put together a card outlining, in simple and moving prose, how much she had done for them.
Carol was vigorous into her mid-seventies. Then she received a devastating cancer diagnosis. The doctors gave her months to live, but within a few weeks she was gone. She faced death with absolute serenity. Days before she passed, one of her sons told her that, in retrospect, he was glad they lived the life that they did, with the trailer parks, cars that wouldn’t start, debt, repossessions, and collection agencies, and even the shame (although none of it was much fun at the time). She laconically replied, “Well, it wasn’t boring.” That it was not. Nor was her life. She experienced some of the defining trends of the postwar world: the stigmatization and overmedicating of mental health patients, the decimation of the working class, and skyrocketing, post-1970s inequality and poverty. And she lived that life with spirit. Indeed, for someone of her class, gender, and generation, there were few less ordinary.
Carol Marie Hansen (née Baert). Born May 20, 1945. Died February 6, 2021. She is survived by her sons Randall and Robert and her grandchildren Annick, Kieran, Luca, and Margaux.
A Funeral Service will be held to honour Carol, due to the current pandemic restrictions it will be by invitation only. However, the family would like to invite all who want to pay their respects to join by Livestream on Friday, February 12, 2021 at 1:00 (SEE BELOW). A recording will be made available to view shortly thereafter.
If you wish to send a condolence, post photos, or share a memory please scroll down the page to the area called “Condolences”.
Dearest Randall, We send you and Robert our deepest sympathies. Thank you for painting such a vivid and compelling portrait of your mom. That she found happiness helping others too easily neglected speaks volumes about her character and soul. We are so sorry she left you so abruptly but are glad you made it to her in time to say goodbye. We are thinking of you and send all our love.
Phil and Mary
Thanks so much Phil and Mary, and I’m sorry for my belated reply; I’m only coming up for air now.
Randall and Robert, we were so saddened and my heart aches to hear of the loss of your dear Mother so soon. Mothers are special and hold an irreplaceable part in our lives like none other. You painted a lovely picture of an amazing woman with courage, grit and determination. I would have loved to have known her more. Our condolances are with you at this difficult time and you will be in our thoughts and prayers.
Thanks so much Shana; it’s really kind of you to have written. I hope you and yours are well. All best, Randall
My condolences on the death of your mother. This was a beautiful set of recollections to share with us.
Dear Randall and Robert and all of Carol’s grandchildren, Over the years, many friends from Carol’s house called upon the Society of St. Vincent de Paul to come and help out with a food hamper. Sometimes I would be among those who visited. Whenever we went there, we saw how Carol shared her life, how she opened her house and offered people stability and a home. I marvelled at her strength, at how steadfast she was in her commitment to what she seemed called to do. It is a special story how Carol came to create and foster that space. Thank you for sharing this celebration of her life. You represented your mother and grand-mother so lovingly and so eloquently. You are all a beautiful tribute to her.
Dear Peggy, thanks very much for sharing this story with me. Mom had never told me. I’m very touched. Warmest wishes, Randall
I am very sorry for your loss and wish your family strength during this difficult time.
Tracy Gray, Member of Parliament, Kelowna – Lake Country
Many thanks MP Gray.
I live down the street from Carol and over the years I’ve had wonderful interactions with her while on my morning walk with my dogs. She was either up at the crack of dawn watering her front yard, or sitting on her deck. The first interaction we had was me telling her that I saw squirrels entering an opening under her roof, and that they may have made a nest up there. For the first little bit she referred to me “as the nice girl who saved her roof” and as a fellow animal lover she assured me that when she had the roof fixed that no squirrel was left inside. Over the years, we chatted more and our topics were never boring, it would range from newly adopted pets (her cats) to motorcycles to her amazing family or how proud she was of her tenants. There just aren’t enough words to describe how cool she really was. She was independent, kind, empathic, supporting, and didn’t take sh*t from anybody either. She was extremely proud of her sons and her grandchildren. She told me she once asked her son, if he thought of himself as a rich man, and he said “I’m not a poor one”. She loved that comment. A little over a year ago she was really excited to move out east to be closer to her family. When the move didn’t work in her favor, she still managed to make the best of everything. She looked forward to fixing things like her deck, or being able to insure her truck as a collector’s item in near future. She always had something on the go and was able to find joy in the little things. A little over a month ago I was out for my morning walk with my dog and she was sitting on her deck and had invited me for Coffee, but because I was running late for work I said it would have to be another day. After that I didn’t see her. I was hoping that she was spending time with her family. I regret more than ever that I didn’t follow up the next day, I just thought there was more time. I’ll remember her always.
Anja
Dear Anja, thanks so much for sharing these detailed and moving memories of mom. I’m so glad you two knew each other. With the very best wishes, Randall
Dear Randal
This Janine Sanderson
I use to live with her .
She good woman sorry for your loss mom
She helped me alot .